जब खेल मज़ादार नहीं लगता

मुझे पहली बार महसूस हुआ—मेरे भीतर कुछ हलका-फुलका मुट्ठी में समाप्त होता हुआ। परेशानी? हताशा? नहीं। सिर्फ… सन्नाटा।

वह पल ‘व्हाइट रैम ग्लोरी’ पर, सुबह-सुबह, प्रकाश-अँधेरे में। neon-लाल संख्याएँ मेरी उंगलियों के नीचे, हृदय की प्रतिध्वनि की तरह। मैंघड़ट-घड़ट भाव महसूस करने के liye, जीत कि মिसাক्रयि.

उस night, मुझे Koi prize nahi mila. Par maine khud ko kho diya.

प्रकाश, पर प्रकाश सदियों

व्हाइट-रैम:अग्रणी - 100% ,गणित ,अप्रभवश्‍य! Lekin jab yeh aag ek chakkar ban jaye? Jab har barat kisi vikas ki jankari ho?

Ek baar mujhe log milay jo kehte the: “Ye game time rehne ka jagah hai.” Bahut sundar laga… jab maine pucha: “Aur bahar nikalne ke baad aapko kaise mehsoos hua?” Ek ne kaha: “Jaise fumes pe chal raha tha.” Yeh nahi hai pura hone ka upay. Yeh hai sarvagata.

##इच्छा Ka Chhupi Hui Ardhika

Har chamakdar interface aur jeet ki awaz ke peeche — manovigyan ki tajaviyat hoti hai. Khel sirf pradaan nahi karte; wo humein zaroorat bana dete hain. 90–95% jeet wale khel kabhi safe nahi hote — wo ilhami nigrah banate hain. Tumhe lagta hai tum control kar rahe ho kyunki teen bar jeet gaye… lekin tumhara dimag pehle hi agla hit chahta hai.

Aur yeh jo koi nahi batata: Dopamine maza nahi deta — anticipation deta hai. Hum jeetne ke liye nahi khelte. Hum apni identity yaad karne ke liye khelte hain—and kabhi-kabhi woh identity reward cycles ke neeche chup jaati hai.

##थपथपपथपथ - Chhupi Hui Pratishodhan

Toh hum kya kar sakte hain? Puri tarah band na karein — lekin agency walaa suraksha paayein. mujhe chhoti shuruat se shuru kiya: har game se pehle timer set kiya—nahi kyunki discipline chahiye thi; balki mera nervous system rest ke liye ijazat chahta tha. mujhe apne aap se poochha: “Is game ka matlab mujhe kya hai? Kya yeh maja hai ya bas suno ghaṭiyā?” kabhi bhi main session mein rokta tha, to ek ajeeb baat notice kartaa: tu game miss nahin kartaa… tu khud miss kartaa tha. to samjha: mere paas games ya gambling platforms par dhyan nahi; lekin emotional vulnerability ko exploit karne wale systems par dhyan haai. Jb joy ritual ban jaye to line cross ho jati hai — jo aam taur par samajhte hi nahin… sunna bhi ab kabhi-kabhi app kholtaa hu jo ‘White Ram Glory’ likha hota haia—kyunki uska naam ab bhi garmish rakhta haia; lakin ab main use ek purane dost ki tarah dekhta hu jo zyada loud ho gaya haia—aur thoda halka sawaal puchta hu: you still want me here? it’s okay if you don’t need me anymore.